Jefri's Blog
Kryptonite
Imagine being the recipient of that question………I remember cooking dinner and Heather was 4 years old. She left the kitchen and a few minutes later came clomping back in some high heels and a dress of mine. She had piled her hair on top of her head with one of my clips. She looked up at me with total vulnerability and asked, “Am I pretty?” I knew in that moment I was on sacred ground. I held her little soul in my hands. Whatever I said would have a substantial impact on how she saw herself. I told her she was beautiful inside and out.
I wonder if the oncology floors of children’s hospitals have a “Lose It” room. A hidden room that only the staff knows about, a room where you can collapse, power cry and then move on to the next child who needs you? I hope so. I’ve always wanted to be one of those lucky people who can cry and 5 minutes later, they look normal again……I look like a prize fighter for at least 12 hours – no sneaking in power cries for me!
My favorite movie is Ordinary People. Judd Hersch gave a magnificent performance as the counselor to Timothy Hutton – survivor of a boating accident in which his brother died. At one point, the counselor grabs the boy’s shoulders and says, “You’re still here and you’re alive – and that’s a good thing!” This image came into my mind as I was calming down from the 3am assault. I looked at my husband Robert and said, “You love me from your soul!” With an immense feeling of gratitude came the thought, despite all the potential pain in the world, love like you would perish if you lost the other. Give it all while you can. Let the people you love know you would miss them if they left.
Acceptance
Detective Lymphobe
Ode to Robert
Lightness
I walked out my front door this morning to grab the paper. I found the world shrouded in fog. In my best Irish brogue I sang, “The world is shrouded in fog, the world is shrouded in fog!”
Suddenly I hear, “Good Morning!” I look through the mist and see a neighbor walking a beautiful English mastiff. I approach and pet the dog; he licks my hand in appreciation. The man says, “Well, at least it’s not snowing – you can sing about that!” We share a belly laugh, he says he’s coming back tomorrow for an encore!
I return to the kitchen with a feeling of lightness. This gets me thinking. Recent messages from my daughter are certainly in line with this word. Sometimes lightness is accompanied by that wonderful feeling called peace. Yesterday I walked dogs at the local animal shelter. At the end of my shift a pit bull mix named Auggie was curled up on the ratty old easy chair. I parked myself on the floor in front of him and began to kiss his face, his ears, and his head. Grunts of gratitude were my reward. I love the smell of short haired dogs. As I progressed to his paws – smelling of mown grass and popcorn, there it was that mystical mixture of lightness and peace. As I write this another word floats to the surface – healing.
In the second year after Heather’s death I received a message from her through a medium about our dog Katy;
“I am healing you primarily through Katy. Whenever you feel sad, touch her and tell her how you feel. She not only senses your pain – she understands it completely.”
I have always believed that animals – dogs in my case, are very intuitive and intelligent. If you take the time to look in their eyes you can see the depth of their beings. I spent many years working for physical rehabilitation units in hospitals. Every one of them had trained dogs who would visit the patients. I can definitely attest to their healing power with the patients.
Dogs are also being used in the aftermath of crisis situations – school shootings, the bombing of the world trade center. People find it easier to cuddle up to a loving dog and cry, than a human counselor sometimes. What a wonderful pairing of trained dogs and humans. This endeavor is definitely in my future. Perhaps in my 60’s my dog and I will travel to crisis situations with her in the lead and me as backup.
I think lightness, peace and healing should be a part of our everyday existence. They are found in simple, easy things; that sparkly bracelet that catches your eye and gives you that little lift in your chest – buy it! A hug from your favorite person, a good belly laugh. Let’s open our eyes and our hearts and see what’s right in front of us in endless supply!